Addiction is Hard to break
by Ayla-Marie
Summary: Spike Dosent really love Buffy and Dawn knows it she addmits it to him one night after he caught her sneeking out Dosent really fit the time line somewhere after Buffy comes back to life but Spike is NOT chipped and Dawn is 15 I OWN NOTHING JOSS OWNS ALL
1. Chapter 1

_**AN: Ok so this may just be a one shot about how I feel Spike and dawn should be together or it may become a full fledged story I'm not sure yet I have a lot of other stories going that need work. It is rated for language but if it continues there is defiantly a naughty scene in it's future. Btw if the words are bold and within a single quote mark they are thoughts Oh and on point is a dance term it is like being on your tip toes**_

Dawn sighed as her feet touched solid ground, a smirk crossed her face_** 'Seriously Buffy gives me her room then grounds me? What is going on with her reasoning skills.'**_ Honestly though it hurt that her sister was so inattentive it was like Dawn only existed to give her something to smother and protect. She had gone a whole three steps when she felt it, a cold chill washing over her as if his hands where ghosting across her skin, she felt it when ever HE was near.

"Running away bit?"

God she hated when he spoke because it caused such a mix of emotion in her, she loved his voice and it made her tingle in all the right places, but the things he called her filled her with frustration and anger. Bit, Niblet, Little bite, those were his names for her like he was calling her a child not even worth eating, but Buffy he called her Love and Pet like she was his world.

"Not running away just going out."

"Out where?"

He was closer now walking forward out of the shadows that clung to him like a reminder that he belonged there wrapped in them, he leaned against the tree she had just descended and smirked at her as if he knew her every secret and desire. It made Dawn sigh wistfully at the image of him knowing her completely, back in that room she had just left with Buffy unknowingly sleeping down the hall, in his crypt on the bed he had stolen and set up there with it's silk sheets, or even at the bronze, where she was headed, his eyes and hands roaming her body as she danced against him. Spike shot into a standing position and she remembered he had an amazing sense of smell, and could hear her heartbeat quicken, she turned and fled in embarrassment.

Spike stared after her hearing the tale tell click of the high heels she was wearing, he had been stunned by the suddenness and power of the arousal he smelt coming off her, and now she was running blindly into the night wearing some of those frilly break your ankle kind of shoes. Spike cursed under his breath looked back at the house he should let Dawn go and see what Buffy had wanted from him but those damn shoes and how fucking good she smelt was bound to get her into trouble.

"Bloody hell Niblet when did you get old enough to smell so tasty."

Spike muttered then he bit his lip the pain drawing him away from the dirty thoughts, this was little bite he was thinking about, not that he hadn't fucked and drained children younger then her of life, but she was different she was… **_'Damn it when did a summers girl become my friend?'_** He thought as he finally turned away from the house and the promise of Buffy therein to chase down the girl who by now was far away and hopefully still safe. **_'Be a damn sad day for anyone who hurts her, human or demon.'_**

Dawn burst into the bronze and did a quick scan luckily none of the Scooby squad was there to bust her, she walked to the bar flashed a fake I.D. and a coy smile. Soon she had a table in the VIP section and a Jack and Dr. Pepper, thanks to her skimpy clothes, long legs, freshly darkened flowing hair, and the curves that she heightened with careful padding, since her real ones were still forming on a body caught somewhere between being a child and a woman. Dawn was fifteen she felt like a woman and wanted to be treated like one, that's why she was here tonight, she wanted to find someone anyone who would look at her as more then a child to protect. She slid her long black jacket from her shoulders exposing the red silk top cut in a diamond pattern and hung low in the front her back was bare with just a few strings holding the silk in place on her body. She also wore a short pleated black skirt and completed the outfit with black Ballerina style high heels the ribbons wrapping up her legs were trimmed in red tying the whole outfit together, she ruffled her hair again hating the way it felt but she shrugged it off as a boy came and asked her to dance.

Spike followed her intoxicating scent and was shocked when it lead him to the Bronze**_ 'what would little bite be doing in a place like this?'_** He walked in and looked around expecting to find her hiding in some corner wishing to be part of the older crowd, but he didn't see his sweet little Dawn his eyes were glued to a dark goddess on the dance floor, she was doing the tango with a boy who could barely keep up, Spike's predatory instincts kicked in and he began to take in everything about her, the way her body moved and how her black hair didn't flow as naturally as it should, she was wearing heels the spiked so high she was basically on point but her dancing was still perfect hold back only by her incompetent partner. Then the music changed something with a lot of bass and the woman began to grind and move against the boy as he slowly danced her closer to the wall. Spike was disgusted that a gorgeous creature like her was lowering herself to be with a boy but he had more important things to worry about he caught a whiff of Dawns sent among the masses and tried to isolate where it was coming from, then his mouth fell open in disbelief it couldn't really be coming from the direction of the couple now plastered to each other with the wall pressed against her back.

Dawn felt the boys hands on the silk of her top groping and pressing her into the wall, at first she had wanted this, wanted to be treated like a woman but now she realized she didn't want it with some random guy she wanted more then this.

"No get off."

She said her voice strained but the boy just pressed her harder into the wall, he was stronger then she had thought and in her heels she couldn't exactly fight him off, tears slid down her face as she felt his fingers touch the bare skin of her thigh.

"Spike!"

She cried out for him desperately wishing she had not run from him in the first place while the boy muttered that she was a fucking whore and she wanted it and forced her hand to his crotch, she took the opportunity and squeezed his balls with all her strength he cursed again and hit her in the mouth. Suddenly his weight was lifted from her and she crumpled to the ground.

Spike was furious with her for acting like a blatant whore in this public place, he knew she was better then this, He was about to throw the boy off her and drag her out of there when he heard her call his name. Her voice was filled with pain, fear and tears he quickly realized this boy was forcing himself on her but that wasn't what made him pause momentarily it was the longing he heard as his name fell off her rose colored lips that made him gasp and stare at the back of the boys head wishing he could see her face when she said it wanted her beneath him with that voice so full of wanting. He was yanked from thoughts he shouldn't be having by the sound of bone against bone when the boy decided to hit her, that was his biggest mistake yet Spike may have left him unharmed if he had simply danced with Dawn, may have only beating him after touching her, and may even have let him live after forcing her against this back wall, but as soon as he raised his hand to her he had ensured himself a slow painful death. Spike ripped the boy from her and slammed him into the wall he was ready to finish the job right there in the back of a crowded club but he looked over to be sure dawn was ok and saw her dark hair falling messily about her shoulders, silk top pulled as low as it could go without coming off, black skirt wrenched up around her hips, showing a hint of frilly pink panties. His fists clenched tightly to hold back both his rage and the things he was not allowed to think about this little girl Spike leaned in and imprinted the scumbags scent into his memory, he would find him and kill him later tonight, then he forced himself to turn and hoist Dawn into his arms.

Dawn was so shocked by everything that she didn't fight when he lifted her off the floor and carried her from the club, but as soon as the cold night air hit her exposed skin she fought her way out of his embrace and tried to run, to embarrassed to speak to him, to afraid of the lecture that she knew was bound to come, but she knew she wouldn't get far unless he let her, he was faster and stronger then her, she was quickly lifted from the ground again and thrown over his shoulder any thoughts she had of screaming where quickly thrown away because she knew if she seemed to be in danger from Spike Buffy would kill him. So Dawn just hung there and let herself be carried home, only they didn't seem to be going to her house, she realized where he was taking her when she looked up from his black leather jacket and saw graves.

Spike fought with himself about what to do, if he took her home Buffy would kill him, and her, but the only other place he could take her was his place, he wasn't sure he could stop himself from doing something he shouldn't to the creature strewn over his shoulder. She seemed so little like the child he had become friends with and it made it difficult to remember he had a responsibility to her, and to her sister.**_ 'That's it just keep thinking of Buffy, you love Buffy, need her, want only her.'_** But even as he said it and thought of her the edges of his mind were devoted to images of Dawn's dark hair and bright green eyes seen through the haze of smoke and bodies at the Bronze, her body twisting and grinding calling to him. He growled aloud and threw her onto his bed, which didn't help with his mental anguish because her skirt fell even farther up her hips and her slightly stiff dark hair fell across his sheets, and her silk top was askew in an almost lewd way that showed the padding she had stuffed herself with. For some reason this falseness made him angry, he felt like it was her fault he desperately wanted to spread her long legs and plow into her untouched heat, like she had tricked him into seeing her as more then a child. Spike pulled her back off the bed and pinned her arms behind her back with one of his hands.

"What were you thinking going into a place like that all smutted up?"

Dawn struggled against him fiercely her eyes flashed with her stung pride and tears that were so close to falling.

'Don't act like my father Spike you don't care if I walk naked through the streets just so long as Buffy doesn't think you knew about it."

Her words stung and added fuel to his anger, he didn't care? He had left pretty much guaranteed sex with the slayer to make sure dawn was safe only to find her in a skimpy outfit with fake curves and fake dark hair being treated like a common whore, and he had every intention of making the boy who did it pay, if anything he cared to much.

Suddenly Spikes hands were on her body, but not in the way she had always wanted, he was gruff and forceful he ripped out the padding she had attached with body tape, then he reached for her waist, dawn assumed he thought she had more padding there, but her hips were all her own as he soon realized, he paused at that then plunged his hands into her hair.

'What the hell is this in your hair?"

Dawn winced in pain as his grip got to tight, and she was shocked that he automatically loosened it so she responded to his question.

"It's spray dye, I want my hair darker."

"But you don't want to commit to leaving it that way."

It wasn't a question it was said quite smugly so Dawn figured it might be fun to see how he would react to what she had to say, she turned her face up towards his and for once she let her guard down so the pain, and emptiness she felt was clearly visible in her eyes.

"I wanted some way to show how the darkness calls to me."

Spike was shocked, he couldn't take much more of the beautiful dark creature now she was so full of pain and longing he was tempted to lean in the last few inches and kiss her. His desire must have played across his face because Dawn shut her eyes and leaned up slightly, Spike gritted his teeth.

Dawn was waiting for something, she wasn't sure what, a reprimand or a kiss, something, she felt his cool breath on her face and she held her in anticipation.

"Get in the shower Kitten, I'll find you something to wear."

**_'Kitten? He never calls me kitten, but he doesn't call Buffy kitten either so what does it mean?'_** Dawns thoughts raced through her head as she stood under the spray of Spikes make shift shower, he had added some piping to a water main so that the water sprayed straight down on him and could be turned off and on at will, and there was a drain added into the floor. **_'He really is a lot smarter then Buffy gives him credit for, I mean he made this crypt into a nice home, and he managed to get the stupid chip out of his head.'_** Buffy still didn't know about that and Dawn didn't know how he had managed it but she had figured it out and he hadn't lied to her about it. Dawn sighed and shut off the water, Spike was upstairs he wouldn't come back down because he might see her naked she would have to go up to him after she was dressed in one of his t-shirts, he had also laid out some jeans but that seemed silly to her the shirt covered enough and the jeans would never fit.

Spike took in a breath when she ascended the ladder and he realized she was only wearing his shirt and probably those frilly pink panties, he clenched his teeth, he had thought that once she was no longer in that outfit this wrong feeling of wanting her would disappear, but now he felt like he knew her better he had seen the darkness inside her and it matched the darkness inside him, she was walking towards him and Spike had to fight not to rip the shirt from her, she looked sexier dressed in his old t-shirt then she had in the skimpy outfit. That was when Spike realized he would never see her the same as he had before, she didn't look like the innocent little girl who needed protection from the world and loved pink and seemed so very pure, her light brown hair didn't suit her anymore and he saw her as she was inside, Black hair falling to her waist her green eyes full of fire and some fuzzy pink pajamas, she was innocence and darkness all wrapped up in one she was wonderful. Spike couldn't help himself he yanked her to him ad crushed her lips under his own, the kiss was sweet, passionate, fierce, and chaste, everything she was, until she whimpered because of her slowly swelling bruised jaw.

Spike ripped away from her at her tiny sign of pain and Dawn felt dizzy from emotion, she wanted to call his name and beg him to return to her but he was shaking his head and seemed angry so she kept her mouth shut.

"Shouldn't have done that, sorry kitten, I shouldn't have done that at all."

"Why not?"

Dawn sounded slightly indignant, it was her first kiss on the mouth but she didn't think she had done badly.

"I'm in love with the bloody slayer for one, and she'll turn me to dust bunnies just for having you in here dressed like that, and for two your just a bloody child."

Spike said sounding more like he was trying to convince himself then anything else, Dawn was furious.

"For one," Dawn said exaggeratedly trying to imitate his accent before she continued with what she had to say, "I am not a child, I am fifteen I know you have had younger girls then me in your bed, and you have probably killed much younger then me." Dawn moved closer to the door to his crypt, " and you don't love Buffy, your addicted to her, Because she is just like Drusilla, she loves Angel. You feel like if you get Buffy to love you, then you will feel whole because you'll have taken something from Angel just like he took Drusilla from you."

Spike sucked in a breath at the pain her words caused him.

'Your going to realize you don't love her and by the time you do your going to wish you had let it go, let Drusilla go, and found someone you truly care about."

'And you think that's you Kitten?"

Spike asked with malice in his voice he wanted to somehow make her feel the empty hole he now felt in his heart.

"Spike.' She whispered the name as she moved towards him, her words and movements screamed confidence but her eyes were full of indecision. " Who else treats you like I do? Who else do you treat like you treat me? If you ever find out Buffy will never fill the emptiness you just better hope I haven't moved on or you'll be all alone." With that she breezed her lips across his once before she turned and headed out into the lightening night sky to hurry home before Buffy found her missing, she already needed a way to explain the bruise forming on her swollen jaw.

Spike was frozen by her words for a moment then he realized he would have to hurry to get that pathetic human boy before daylight caught him, and he ra off to cause pain to the one who would dare lay a finger on his dawn. **_'Wait MY Dawn? Shit what is going on?'_** he didn't know what to think so he kept his mind blank and just ran.


	2. Chapter 2

Dawn made a ruckus in her room as soon as she was back in her own clothes with spikes shirt tucked safely under her bed, she twisted the sheets around her and pressed her face into her bed side table, Buffy didn't check on her but that was ok she would have heard the noise and it would add credibility to her story in a few hours. With that she settled herself in a strewn out position on her floor and passed out.

Spike let the boy's body drop to the ground, he had been as pathetic as Spike had thought he would be, he had begged for his pathetic little life and didn't even remember Dawn by name, he had however admitted to several other rapes of young girls. The scum had seen through Dawns outfit and wanted to break the fragile weak girl underneath. To bad for him Dawn was not weak or fragile she had crushed his balls leaving permanent damage behind, that is how the pathetic worm remembered her and as soon as he did he called her a bitch and a whore, big mistake. Spike had been unable to control his rage and along with some other sever damage he had broken six of the boys ribs, one of which had made a slow painful route to his heart. Spike had to let this suffice even though he wanted so badly to hurt the twit longer he just pressed him painfully against the wall and listened to his screams as he died, his blood wasn't even worth taking so he left the corpse to lesser Vamps and Demons as he headed for the underground tunnels. They were old abandoned water mains and sewer pipes but they would lead him as close to his home as he was going to get today then he would sleep until night and head for the crypt, he refused to give himself even a moment to think about the things Dawn had said to him, it would only confuse and upset him.

Dawn woke to a frenzy of Buffy yanking her off the floor, shaking her, and calling her name.

"Wada ya wan?"

Dawn said her words almost illegible as sleep clouded her voice and confusion twisted her face. Buffy let her go and Dawn slumped back to the floor she looked very cute and young in her pink pajamas with her light brown hair all mussed and her fist childishly scrubbing sleep from her eyes.

"What happened to you?"

"What are ya talking about?"

"For one your asleep on the floor for another your bed is all messed up, and OH MY GOSH YOUR FACE!"

Buffy seemed really worried and angry now so Dawn jumped quickly into her explanation.

"I don't know I had a bad dream last night that I was fighting a demon I remember a sudden pain I guess I fell off the bed."

"I did hear some noise coming from your room."

Buffy seemed skeptical so Dawn played it up a bit.

"Ow, my jaw hurts what hit me?"

Now Buffy's face softened as she assed the room.

"You must have hit your face on the table when you fell off the bed. I guess it's a good thing it's the weekend, I'll let you go to the Magic Box and have Willow heal it but only if you promise not to go anywhere else."

"Oh come on it's day time and I'm fifteen let me go outside now and then or people will think I'm some kind of shut in."

Dawn said anger clear in her voice and by her eyes Buffy could see dawn was not going to back down, Buffy tried but she couldn't muster up the amount of concern a big sister should have, I mean this girl was really a magical energy surly she could fend off humans.

"Just be home before dark and don't get in any trouble…Oh and stay AWAY from Spike."

Dawn rolled her eyes and began to get dressed.

"I mean it, I don't care if he is all leashed now he is still evil and soulless and bad."

Dawn neglected yet again to inform Buffy that Spike was no longer chipped, and she just rolled her eyes again, grabbing some dark wash jeans and a black tight fitting top, Dawn pulled her hair into a messy bun, yanked on her favorite high top converse and rushed out of the room before a confused looking Buffy could finish her next sentence.

"When did you start dressing like a grunge?"

Dawn laughed having heard what Buffy said, in all honesty Dawn didn't really fit in with any group at school but she was kind of close to the grunge kids she felt more like she had her own dark style. She wasn't like Buffy she didn't see the darkness in this world as necessarily being a bad thing in fact she now felt like she belonged there, she had become a tainted entity when her blood was used to open a portal to hell, she felt it inside her and she loved it.

Spike made it close to the cemetery and lucky for him ended up in an abandoned water main rather then a sewer so he cleaned himself up and settled in to rest far away from the sun light streaming down through the tiny holes on the manhole cover. Despite his best efforts his mind played over Dawns words it was more difficult then he thought it should be to dismiss it all as a child trying to sound grown up. _'But that's all it was, all it bloody well could be she is just a Niblet she don't know about love and loss, don't know diddly bout pain.' _He convinced himself as best he could and drifted into sleep.

Dawn dutifully marched herself to the Magic box, after a group hello and the shock and drama following her bruised face she learned Willow was trying to work on using magic less and she would have to heal normally. This didn't bother Dawn in the least what upset her was that Willow was letting them tell her magic was a bad thing, so what if she became addicted to using magic for everything? She was wicked powerful and if Dawn could use magic that well she sure as hell would use it all the time. But since Dawn had no intention of going back home till dark, at which time she would sneak back out of her house, she went to these old water main where she spent a lot of her daylight hours so no one would bother her. She Wandered along until she got to the part of the tunnel with the best acoustics and she pulled out her little writing journal.

Spike had woken at noon to a stinging in his hand, one of the little dots of light had traveled along the floor and burned him, he was going to reposition and get some more sleep but he heard the strangest thing.

"Poetry?"

He asked himself as he moved silently along the tunnel to try and hear exactly what was being said.

_Darkness surrounds me_

_Something I was taught to fear_

_Clouds everything I see_

_And clings to my very soul_

_Yet I find I like it being near_

_This darkness makes me feel whole_

_It is a comfort close to bliss_

_Something made out to be so bad_

_Numbs my pain and loneliness_

_Yet to like it makes me something vile_

_Makes me something sad_

_I'll ignore them if only for a little while_

_Its not like they were ever there_

_But even so I can never be free_

_Not like they even care_

_They have better things to do_

_Then understand what is going on with me_

_To them I'm nothing new_

_A problem to be dealt_

_Alone in my own mind_

_An Ice heart that can't melt_

_I just want someone to see_

_Want someone who is Kind_

_I want to be free_

_Free to be __whatever this darkness has breed in me_

The sadness in the bell like voice called to Spike, the words flared a spark in his heart, he felt like a kindred spirit with the little poet. He didn't really have anyone either, and her words spoke of a true pain only an immortal could know, because no human life lasted long enough to feel that deep empty loneliness that coated every word. He moved closer to see who it was and there sat Dawn dressed very differently from both the little girl he knew and the one who tried to play grown up last night. It was real emotion in her voice and it showed in her, eyes, posture, tears, even in the way she held the paper like something precious, it made her seem truly beyound her years. Then before he could stop her she ripped it to shreds turned it into a little pile and lit it on fire.

"What the bloody hell are you doing Kitten?"

The words sounded like a pained whisper on his lips but she jumped as if he had shouted at her.

"WHAT THE FUCK?! How long have you been there?"

"Long enough."

"You damn near gave me a heart attack!"

But that didn't seem to be what she was worried about as she used her hair to shield her face from view and scrubbed tears from her eyes.

"Why kitten?"

"Why what?"

Now she sounded peeved.

"Why did you burn it you silly bint!"

"Oh, it wasn't any good."

She tried to sound nonchalant about it as she quickly got up off the ground, and when she looked back up he had moved forward so fast she didn't notice and was standing right in front of her.

"Crap, Spike are you trying to scare me to death?!"

"Who says it wasn't good?"

Dawn sighed knowing he would never just let this go.

"Look I read a poem at school and they called me an awful poet, and besides Buffy would shit a cow if she ever found any of my poetry. So I write it read it once here where no one can hear it then destroy it."

Spike's eyes got wide at the awful poet part, and then his lips set in a firm line.

"You're a bloody brilliant poet and don't you ever destroy another one."

"But Buffy…"

"Can ram a stake up her tight ass, you bring them to me I'll keep them safe for you."

Dawn seemed genuinely shocked at this and Spike had in fact shocked himself but she just seemed so alone and in pain, He just had to do it. He never expected her reaction but as it was she threw herself around him, all soft curves and warm sweet smell that made his mouth water and dick tighten painfully. He quickly disentangled himself from her before he gave in to either temptation.

"Look go on and get home before your sister comes to dust me, and remember you not completely alone pet, I am a part of the dark side of the world and I am always here."

She smiled hopefully at him and muttered her thanks before she walked back down the pipe towards her place. Spike spent the rest of the day beating his head against the concrete.


End file.
